September 2020

Mountain Goat

OK, we have a problem. My son started crawling, then started walking, then started walking a lot, then started to use pillows to get onto the furniture. Now he is constantly climbing onto the furniture without pillows. Like, constantly. My wife and I just sat around the ottoman for literally 20 minutes as he climbedContinue reading “Mountain Goat”

Food

I can’t, for the life of me, understand why my son hates food. He loves formula—loves it. Nothing is better than formula. And everything is better than real food. His preference is to let the food into his mouth then quickly spit it out. Or he picks it up, looks for the dog, drops it,Continue reading “Food”

Diapers

Hello. Do you have a minute? I’d like to talk to you about Jesus Christ reusable diapers. I thought of this because today my son unloaded in his diaper, and I had to clean it. Clean it, you say? Don’t you just throw it away? No. We do not. We have reusable diapers. My wifeContinue reading “Diapers”

Stop Growing Up!

My son started walking the other day. Walking! What?! How is that possible. He turns one in less than a month. This shouldn’t be happening! He should still be falling asleep in my arms and making funny little cooing noises at me while farting. Everything is happening so fast. I mean, I still distinctly rememberContinue reading “Stop Growing Up!”

Review: Dairy Queen Fall Blizzard Choco-Dipped Strawberry

If you think this is the last Dairy Queen fall blizzard review, you are sorely mistaken. There are six new blizzards, so expect six reviews because I’m a dad now and I deserve to be happy. First, let’s discuss what is in here. It’s vanilla ice cream mixed with strawberry chunks and pieces of chocolate.Continue reading “Review: Dairy Queen Fall Blizzard Choco-Dipped Strawberry”

Whoops!

So I’ve had a blog for like 3 weeks, and I already have failed to update for like a week and a half. But it’s not my fault! I have a job now! Yes, the entire premise of my blog is now a lie because I’m no longer unemployed. About two weeks ago my schoolContinue reading “Whoops!”